Feeling alone, lost, and disconnected from the rest of the world are common feelings while dealing with your breast cancer diagnosis, treatment, and recovery. Feeling like this while raising a family will make it even harder. There are so many resources out there available for those going through the treatments and for those affected by it. Take advantage of them all, they're out there for a reason!
Being a mother with breast cancer is still a surprising topic. Even after the three blogs we've dedicated to the subject, you'll still find people balking at the idea. One of the hardest things is the fact that breast cancer diagnosis usually hit a family when life is already in full swing, and you're already overwhelmed with everything as it is. The treatment will automatically demand your attention when all you want to do as a mother is giving that attention to your children. The battle with giving time and fighting for both survival and your children's livelihood becomes a very tactile one. An exhausting one. A frustrating one. The idea that you have to face the reality of death a lot sooner than you could ever have imagined becomes a daily thought. Even if you do win your battle, recurrence tends to take over the worries in the back of your mind. The battle and worry will never truly be over. Even though you are fighting to beat this disease constantly, your first thought will always be that of your children.
As you fight your diagnosis every day, there are resources out there specifically designed and created to help your children cope. Similar to the resources we mentioned in our last blog, you might need to do some research about what you need and what your community offers. Help is out there, you just need to look for it and welcome it in with open arms.
For the Kids
Summer Camp might sound like the last thing you and your family want to do together or decide to send your children off to during your cancer treatment. But think about it this way - giving them another tool to deal with everything, continue to educate them during the whole process, and introducing them to kids their age going through exactly what they are, can be very empowering. That's exactly what these camps were designed to do. There are many free, low cost, and inexpensive options for summer camps that specialize in helping and connecting children who have been impacted by cancer diagnoses. Again, you just have to do a little research to find what is a good fit for your family. Check out these options below.
For more information visit their website below:
For more information, visit their website below:
Outside of these amazing opportunities to give to your children and yourself, there are still more resources available. Remember that feeling of being alone and lost? I hope these past two blogs have discouraged that feeling. Remember too that these are just the tip of the iceberg. There are more out there than you might realize.
We have talked about what you can do for yourself to make this process as a mother just a little easier on you and your family. Sometimes you need a helping hand, and that's okay. You're fighting a hard enough battle as it is, take advantage of what's out there for you. Please note that there are resources out there like:
We are here to support and guide you, but it is your choice to make this difficult time hurt a little bit less. Step up to the challenge and be willing to say "yes" to these options and more. If you ask for it, the help will come. For even more resources and information, please follow the links below. We will see you next time. Until then, be brave, keep fighting, and know you are not alone.
https://hfmeals.org/In this blog, we are going to be discussing the many resources out there for mothers and families dealing with a breast cancer diagnosis. As we move into this new year and you recognize that you might need more help, let go of any embarrassment or shame attached to it. These resources are here for a reason, we urge you to take advantage of them!
Welcome to 2020, friends. We are glad to be here with you, and we are glad that you are reading this blog today. We hope that at this time you are finding solace in your loved ones, fighting hard in your battle, or learning every day from your recovery. In this blog, we are going to be continuing our discussion on how to deal with a breast cancer diagnosis as a mother. We mentioned in our last blog that at times it seems impossible to be a parent and deal with a cancer diagnosis, treatment, and recovery all at the same time. It might feel that way, but we stress that it's not impossible. One of the first steps you have to take is to throw out any idea of doing it perfectly or like anyone else. You are figuring out a plan that is tailored to your family and your treatment. Just like life and parenthood, this process will be a little messy, hectic, planned by the seat of your pants, and filled with love and dedication.
We focused a lot on surrounding yourself with your tribe in our last blog, the strength to say "no" when you need to and to learn to ask for help when you need it. This blog is going to be about the outside resources that can help you and your family and giving you a break on a lot of things out of your control during diagnosis, treatment, and recovery. Choosing to use these resources does take an act of commitment and being confident in using them. There is nothing wrong with utilizing any of them, and no ounce of shame or embarrassment should be placed on you by anyone or yourself if you choose to use these resources. If there is anyone who is giving you a hard time (including yourself!) it might be time to remove those negative people and those negative thoughts out of your life.
There are so many resources out there for you, and what we will be sharing is just the tip of the iceberg. If you require anything during your treatment, there is someone out there who can offer that help to you. Even though this is just a partial list, we are splitting this blog into two parts as not to overwhelm our readers and so you can take in this information as best you can!
Let's start with cleaning. After a particularly long journey of treatment, or even just one very difficult round of chemo, keeping house may be the last thing you want to do or have the energy for. It might be difficult to have a stranger come into your home to clean up. But it can be a huge help and weight off your shoulders during treatment and recovery. Your family will continue to throw toys, dirty laundry, dishes, and clutter around your home, even at the height of your health that can be annoying and exhausting. Let someone else come in and help you deal with that. Plus, a clean and organized home is proven to be relaxing, calming, and guaranteed to provide peace of mind. There are many ways to hire someone or a service to clean your home. If you're in any kind of financial need or want to take advantage of any incredible services available to you, they are out there.
This is where companies like Cleaning For A Reason comes into the picture. They are a nonprofit organization that partners with over 1200 maid services across the country to provide free home cleaning to cancer patients. Their services are open to anyone actively having cancer treatments. It is a highly sought after service, and sadly not every location has partnered with maid services that are connected to this company. But if you can get connected with them, you are eligible for two free cleanings once a month.
For more information, visit their website below:
Next, let's talk about dinner. Grocery shopping, prepping, and making three meals a day for your family 365 days a year is a lot for anyone. This shouldn't be an added stress during your treatment, and with all the resources out there, it doesn't have to be. If you need a service to do your grocery shopping and have them delivered, plenty of grocery stores offer that option. You can also have them delivered through Amazon and Google, along with a plethora of other apps like Shipt, Instacart, Peapod, Fresh Direct, and more! You can also get already prepared meals delivered to your home that you have to assemble or warm up and enjoy. Companies like Blue Apron, Home Chef, Hello Fresh, and Freshly are just a click away if you are looking for something like that.
There are also numerous and wonderful companies and foundations out there who deliver home-cooked healthy meals for free for families dealing with cancer diagnosis and treatment. We recommend looking locally for these resources, as most of them are not nationally based. Start looking at local churches, Meals on Wheels, and other similar foundations. But to start, check out the resources below.
We hope this helped open up your mind to some of the amazing resources out there available to you. They might be the hardest to say "yes" to since they interfere and intervene on some of the most basic and personal household duties. But these are also some of the most important duties that affect both you and your children. Keep that in mind when deciding if they are the right choice for you or not.
In our next blog, we will be discussing some of the resources available specifically for your children during your diagnosis, treatment, and recovery. Keep in mind that there are a lot of resources just for them, so please take comfort in that. Until next time stay positive, fight hard, and remember that you are not alone.
Mothers with Breast Cancer
Becoming a mother is an exciting and wonderful journey. But what happens when that journey is disrupted with the diagnosis of breast cancer? What then? What are the best ways to handle motherhood and your breast cancer battle at the same time?
Being a mother is such an exciting, difficult, challenging, and wonderful thing. We thank our mothers for the love and care they've given us, and we strive to be the best mothers we can be for our children. But when a diagnosis of breast cancer steps into your life as a mother, what then? Naturally, the first thought will be of your children. How will I care for them? How will life go on for us as a family through my diagnosis and care? What happens when I can't care for them? What happens if I don't win this battle? In this two-part blog, we will be discussing what to do and how to handle parenthood while going through both your diagnosis and treatment. In the second post, we will be discussing and sharing some of the best resources out there for you to help through this journey.
At first, there might not feel like there are a ton of resources out there for you. As we discussed in our November blog, it's is still rare to be a young woman with a young family and be diagnosed with cancer. But, it still happens more than most realize. As a mother in this situation, you will be dealing with the same amount of day to day struggles and responsibilities, but it will get even harder when that diagnosis comes. You will now be facing treatment, care, long hospital stays, surgeries, and not feeling like yourself or very good at all while still dealing with your normal load of life. It is almost like your life has been split into two, and you have to live through both of them at the same time.
It is going to be difficult. That fact won't be a mystery to you. Being apart is hard, but with love and devotion, you've made that an integral part of your life. With this same kind of love and devotion, you can fight this battle as a parent. Please know that you're not alone. You might feel like you are, you might feel disconnected from your family and loved ones but you're not. Once the diagnosis comes, your first duty as you approach the battle is to rally your troops. If not for you, then for your children. Show them that they too will not be alone. The family dynamic might change while you're fighting your diagnosis, but there will be a parade of love and care for them and you if you let it.
There are many important things to keep in mind when going through your diagnosis as a parent. You will need to find the best fit for you and your family, make informed and family-based decisions on what's best for all of you, and your decisions will not be the same as anyone else's. This is all okay. Here are some tips and ideas to keep in mind as you begin this journey, together.
You are still a parent when you receive your diagnosis, this is not your fault. Your children want to help you, love you, and support you on this journey. Let them in. Know when to say no, be strong enough to set boundaries and to let people in, and know when it's time to ask for help. You will not hang up your superhero mom cape when it's time to ask for help or when treatment has you beat. If anything, it makes your cape that much stronger. We will see you next time for part two of this blog. Until then be well, keep fighting, and go into 2020 with your head up.