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TBP Blog

What Breast Cancer Awareness Means To Us (Part Two)

10/28/2020

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While Breast Cancer is something that all of our warriors experience and fight for every day, October is an opportunity to spread this awareness on an even high level and open the world's eyes to what this disease really is.

Hello, warriors! Welcome back to the blog and welcome back to part two of our blog discussing what breast cancer awareness means to us. While we are rapidly approaching the end of October and the end of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we hope you know how incredibly proud we are of each of you. We know this year's difficult situation has prevented us from doing what we all normally like to do to spread awareness, raise money, and gather with our fellow fighters, supporters, and warriors. 2020 can't cancel our hope, our fight, our journey, or the color pink. We all continue to stand in solidarity together, continue to fight together, and support one another. We know this year might be weighing heavy on you and your family, but please believe us when we say that we understand and we are with you. Please continue on your journey, continue with your fight, and continue using your story to prepare and educate others. Your fight can be a light in the darkness for others and for the rest of 2020 and beyond. Have you been feeling at a loss this month, that you haven't found your voice in this battle, that you're not giving back enough or doing enough? Don't be discouraged. Your voice and everything you're doing every day speaks volumes. To help give our own bit of help and support for the rest of Breast Cancer Awareness Month and beyond, we wanted to create a blog on how to make everyday Breast Cancer Awareness Month. 

Your voice, your journey, and how you choose to handle and battle your diagnosis is a testament in itself. Even if you aren't particularly vocal or you don't share your experience in a blog or through social media, that doesn't mean your journey doesn't impact others. When you go in for your treatments, consider the people sitting around you. This could be their very first or very last treatment. A kind smile, sharing your experiences with them, or just being a positive presence within this little snapshot of time can cause a ripple effect to those battling around you. How youR battle progresses also doesn't go unnoticed by your doctor or nurses. They find comfort, inspiration, and drive from how hard you fight and in the relationship you build together. 

Your journey and battle can bring you closer to your loved ones than ever before and can create a bond that you never expected. How you live in your survivorship and how you share your experiences with a new friend or coworker leaves an impression too. Don't think you have to shout from the rooftops and put yourself in the spotlight if you don't want to. Every step of your journey affects someone. If you want to be public about your experience, that is a welcomed expression too. Writing a blog, documenting your experiences on Facebook or Instagram, being a mentor to someone recently diagnosed, participating in group meetings, and more can also help others and raise awareness. No matter how you chose to share and express your experience, both are just as important and beneficial as the other. 

There are many steps you and your loved ones can take to promote awareness throughout the entire year, here are some tips and suggestions to make that possible. 
  • Lead by Example: One of the biggest keys in battling breast cancer is to promote, talk about, and support early detection. Talk about how common it is to get breast cancer at an early age and that mammograms don't truly work for individuals under the age of 40. Talk about and normalize self-breast exams, give yourself self-breast exams often, and once you reach the age of getting a mammogram, start going and getting those, and don't keep it a secret! 
  • You can talk to your friends and family: Don't shy away or keep your experience from your loved ones. Share with them what you are or have gone through and what you may have done differently. Plan to go and get screened together and talk about self-breast exams. Make sure to support one another to make sure that each of you is getting the care and support that you need. 
  • Listen to your community: There are so many women who want and need to tell their stories and how it affected their lives and the lives of their loved ones. It's a grueling process to go through, but listing to someone who needs to share their story can be healing for the storyteller and those who are listing. It can make the reality of breast cancer and the fact that true awareness hardly skims the surface very real. It can inspire you to work harder to be an advocate and to push harder for a cure. This is also an opportunity to comfort them through their experience and to spend as much time with them as possible. 
  • You can donate to a charity or multiple charitable organizations throughout the year, not just in October. Everything and anything you give will help. Don't be quiet about your donations or involvement. Don't just share your favorite places to donate in October. Share them as often as you can. Host fundraising events throughout the year, or create a fundraising event or opportunity for your loved ones and friends to donate throughout the year, for your birthday, at every holiday, and any large gathering. Your voice and your actions can set a consistent example, and remind others that breast cancer is a reality for people every single day.  
  • Please remember that there is always something new to learn. Regardless if you are newly diagnosed, fighting, living in your survivorship, or a family member has been diagnosed, there is always more information out there to know, understand, and help spread. The Susan G. Komen foundation reminds us that knowledge is your power and a key device in your treatment and diagnosis. The more you know and understand what you or your loved ones are going through, the more you can feel in control of your life, in control of your diagnosis, and the more you can explain to others to spread awareness. We know this might be your new reality, but it doesn't have to define your whole reality. 

We know that your voice is important. Each of your individual stories is worth telling, saving, and sharing. We know that awareness and what we need to cure breast cancer isn't at the level that it deserves and what it should be. Every day we are fighting to make your voices louder, the cure closer, and helping to educate the world about this horrible disease. While so much of the world just sees Breast Cancer Awareness Month as pink ribbons and fundraisers, we see your stories, your pain, your frustrations, and all that you go through every day. Let us stand together to make Breast Cancer Awareness month more than just a month, and finally beat this disease once and for all. 

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Insight Into Pregnancy-Associated Breast Cancer

8/18/2020

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Being diagnosed with breast cancer at any age is difficult. Being diagnosed with breast cancer during your pregnancy can make that difficultly paramount. In this blog, we will be discussing pregnant associated breast cancer and its realities.

We hope that if you've been reading our blog consistently, or have stumbled upon it recently, that there are few things we always want our readers to walk away with; that early detection is key, no one determines how you fight your battle, and to eliminate the stigma that breast cancer only appears later in life. While it is more common to be diagnosed with breast cancer after menopause, we hope that you've seen in our blogs that it is more common than you'd think to be diagnosed at a much younger age. Even more eye-opening, you can be diagnosed during your pregnancy. Just like any condition, there are plenty of rumors and myths floating around the internet. One that we've debunked before is that pregnancy and breastfeeding can cause cancer. While the two are not related, it is still possible to be diagnosed with breast cancer during your pregnancy.

  • Pregnancy-associated breast cancer or PABC is when an expectant mother is diagnosed with cancer during pregnancy or in the year or two after her baby is born. Treatment is, of course, looked at with much hesitation when diagnoses comes early in the pregnancy. Generally, most doctors prefer to wait to do surgery and chemo until after the first trimester. We've also talked about this a little bit before in previous blogs. When this treatment is delayed until after the 1st trimester, there are no medical findings or studies that show that it harms the baby. When it comes to radiation or IV therapy, that can be harmful to the baby, and in almost every single case, doctors will wait to use these treatments until after the baby is born. According to the Wiley Online Library, PABC affects 1 in every 3000 pregnancies and is more commonly found in women who what to have children in the 40s or 50s. It is also one of the "most common malignancies to complicate pregnancy". However, according to Johns Hopkins Medicine, recent research has shown that pregnant women diagnosed with breast cancer "do as well or even better than non-pregnant women" when it comes to treatment or recovery. Most women and their children go on to have very healthy and happy lives after they go through their diagnosis and treatment.

  • The reason why doctors wait for surgery and chemo until after the 1st trimester is that both could cause birth defects or the loss of the baby. Treatment will of course depend on how far along you are in your pregnancy and how far along you are in your diagnosis. According to Johns Hopkins, if your tumor is estrogen, progesterone, or HER2 positive, certain types of hormone therapy is recommended but will be performed after the baby is born. Surgery can be done during pregnancy and can be followed up with radiation after birth in certain situations.

  • One of the biggest challenges you will be facing with PABC is breastfeeding. Surgery on a breast that is lactating can be much more difficult and the chemo or hormonal therapy you could be on can contaminate your breast milk, making it unsafe for your baby. It is recommended to postpone or stop breastfeeding until it is safe to do so. There are lactation specialists that you can add to your care team that can help you make the best decision and help guide you through breastfeeding during your treatment. Depending on where you are in your pregnancy and how far along you are in your diagnosis, if it is safe for the baby and necessary for your treatment, your care team might possibly discuss delivering your baby early. This will allow treatment to begin faster. Any lump or any warning signs found during your pregnancy need to be brought to your doctor's attention right away, just like they would be in any other part of your life. Early detection in this situation is not only crucial for your health but also that of your children.

  • Remember that rumor we brought up at the beginning of this blog about how breastfeeding and pregnancy can make it more common to get breast cancer? According to BreastCancer.Org, studies have shown that breastfeeding and pregnancy improve survival rates. When a woman's breast is producing milk, this limits the cell's ability to behave or to act abnormally. This, in turn, will limit the ability for cancer cells to being growing. Also, women have fewer menstrual cycles during the time they spend breastfeeding, which lowers estrogen levels. Lowering these estrogen levels cuts down on the probability of cancer. Not only is breastfeeding good for you and your baby to connect and for the baby to be healthy and happy, but it is also natural prevention against breast cancer. So again, please don't believe everything you read!

Being diagnosed with breast cancer at this point in your life can come with a huge mix of emotions, ranging from joy of expecting your first child to the fear and panic of what could happen next. Please know you are not alone, and that there are many positive options to keep both you and your baby safe and healthy. Never hesitate to reach out to us if you have any questions or concerns, and know we are always here for you!
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The Realities of Early Detection

5/19/2020

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Early detection is one of the most important life-saving factors when wanting to prevent and fight breast cancer. If you can start on the journey early in your life, it might save and protect that life you've built and created. 

We've made it to May, friends! We are so thankful to be here with you today and thankful that there is a little more positive news in the world these days. There is still so much that we need to be cautious about, but as breast cancer warriors, that is not a new idea. We've shared some important facts on the realities of what it's like to live with breast cancer while raising children, personal stories of those fighting breast cancer, and how to better your quality of life while living through diagnosis and treatment. One topic that we are extremely passionate about is early detection. We spend a lot of time educating on the topic, spreading awareness on how to begin early detection, and helping those who could benefit from early detection. In this blog, we wanted to share some of the realities of why early detection is so important, tips on what you should be looking out for, some tips on how to stay as healthy as possible, and what early detection could mean for you. 

We know that breast cancer is the second most diagnosed cancer in women and one of the most fatal. At the end of the day, catching it as soon as possible is key. As of now, there isn't a cure for breast cancer, making early detection more important every day. The purpose of early detection is to find and identify any breast abnormalities as soon as possible. If breast cancer or it's beginning stages are found and caught sooner, it can be treated more efficiently. There are more treatment options available to you and there is a higher rate of survival if caught sooner. 

We've talked about the reality that breast cancer can appear in women under the age of 40 in some of our most recent blogs. It does happen more often than the general public cares to admit. Mammograms are not efficient enough for women under the age of 40, as the breast tissue is still to firm for the mammogram to penetrate through and provide a clear reading of what's happening inside the breast itself. This is when self-breast examinations come into play and become incredibly important. By the time you've reached early adulthood, you should be doing a monthly breast exam, regardless of your family's history of breast cancer. It never hurts to be safe. Self-breast examinations are the best tool for discovering early stages and signs of breast cancer, and any findings should always be reported to your doctor. 

  • Maintaining a Watchful Eye 
With it being such a deadly disease, it's scary to know that many symptoms of breast cancer can very easily go unnoticed. Thankfully, if you're proactive and know what signs you should be looking for in self-breast exams and in the health of your body overall, you can help improve your chance of early detection. 
  1. You should be giving yourself monthly breast exams. 
  2. If there is any change or abnormality in your breast that you've discovered, they need to be reported to your doctor right away! 
  3. If you find a lump in your breast, please alert your doctor. But remember, not all lumps mean that you have cancer. Also, remember to look and feel for lumps and tenderness on the side of your breast and in your armpit. 
  4. If the texture of your skin or the size of your pours changes on your breast.
  5. If your nipples become extremely tender. 
  6. If the size and shape of your breast changes out of the blue with no rhyme or reason, either growing larger or shrinking.
  7. If your breast has a milky discharge and you're not breastfeeding. 
  8. If your nipples have turned inward or have become inverted and there is a dimpling anywhere on the breast. 
  9. There are more signs you need to be looking for and aware of, but these are some of the most important warning signs you need to be looking for now. 

  • Starting Now
Fighting against your body, genetics, and forces that are out of our control is a daily battle women with breast cancer or who are high risk are very aware of. There are some things you can be doing now to lower your chances of developing breast cancer and to give your body a fighting chance that it doesn't appear. Take these to heart, along with your monthly breast exams, and be good to your body. 
  1. Maintain a healthy weight consistently and in a healthy manner. 
  2. Don't begin to smoke or stop if you already are. 
  3. Limit your alcohol intake. 
  4. Exercise often, and maintain a healthy exercise plan throughout your life. 
  5. Eat a nutritious and balanced diet to maintain your active lifestyle and healthy weight. 
  6. Breastfeed your children.
  7. Hormone therapy treatments.
  8. Genetic counseling and testing for those at high-risk.

  • The Truth In Now
Early detection means something different to everyone. For some, it becomes a healthy habit that they do once a month. For others, it's because they know the risk of getting breast cancer is already incredibly high. If your sister, mother, or daughter has had breast cancer, your risk of also getting it doubles. If two of these close relatives have been diagnosed, then your risk is five times higher than normal. When these numbers begin to add up, it becomes more than just a monthly breast exam. You will need to pay closer attention to your breast's health both at home and with more frequent visits to your doctor. 
  • If you come from a high-risk family, sometimes it can be linked to having an abnormal gene like the BRCA1 or BRAC2 gene. Getting tested for these genes becomes very crucial when coming from a high-risk family. There is hormonal therapy available to help prevent these abnormal genes from turning into cancer and to lower the risk of developing cancer. There are four different hormone therapy medicines that have been developed that have proven to reduce the risk of cancer if you do test positive for these abnormal genes. But, they do not reduce the risk of hormone receptor negative breast cancer. 
  • Protective surgery could also be in your future if your risk is extremely high. This choice is one that needs serious consideration, as it is a form of irreversible risk reduction. This form of surgery, known as prophylactic surgery, removes one or both healthy breasts or ovaries to reduce the risk of breast cancer. This surgery can reduce a woman from developing breast cancer by over 90%. Women with a history of breast cancer in their families or those who have tested positive for the BRCA1 or BRAC2 gene who have their uterus removed before menopause can reduce their risk by 50%. 
  • If you are at high risk and have decided to move forward with hormone therapy treatments genetic counseling, or prophylactic surgery, this will become a part of your everyday life. You will need to implement healthy life changes to maintain your health and to begin the best steps to keep you healthy and strong during your fight for prevention. 

Breast cancer is a risk for everyone. The path you take will just be a little different depending on who you are, what your body has decided to do, and what your family history is. But know that no one is alone on this path. You might need to deal with these realities a little sooner than later, it might become a part of your medical appoints and gynecologist visits every year, but it will keep you healthier longer. Be kind to your body and follow the necessary steps to preserve your life. Stay strong, Lowcountry! We are in this fight and all the fight the world has currently given us, together. Today is another day that we have to live to the fullest. 
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A Queen; A Survivor

2/14/2020

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One of the best things we can do as a support group is to tell your stories. You have so much to share with those walking and struggling along a similar path, and no story is stronger than one told by those who need to tell it. 

Happy February friends, fellow survivors, and fellow fighters. This month is usually one that celebrates love with candy hearts, cards, and enough rom-com films to drive you crazy. Red, pink, and white everything cover every surface of every drug store, department store, and grocery store that you walk into. But we are no strangers to the color pink. It's not just a color of love and Hallmark Holidays. It's a color of strength, fortitude, determination, and power. It's the color of battle and the color of remembrance. Valentine's Day is just one day, but love is something that should be celebrated in all forms every day. Love is something that keeps us fighting and gives us a reason one way or the other to get up and out of bed and to keep moving. Leave the candy and the cards behind, and let love carry you through all day every day. Don't let one day get you down, let it buoy you in remembering that love and determination are always with you. 

In celebration of that idea, we are so excited to open up a new chapter in our blogs. If you have been following us on Instagram and Facebook (which, if you haven't yet, you should!) then you are probably familiar with our posts dedicated to #SurvivorSunday, and asking you to share your survivor stories with us. These are your stories to tell, and no one can tell them better than you. Now that we have had some incredible individuals share their stories with us, we will be dedicating some of our blogs to these people and the stories they have to tell. 

We are so very excited to share our very first survivor story with you, and this extraordinary  woman might look very familiar. We are honored to share with you the story of Savanna James, who was recently crowned Miss Summerville and will be going on to compete in the Miss South Carolina Pageant later this summer. Her platform is "Breast Cancer Awareness and Prevention." How incredible is that? Her story is unique. It is a story about being a high-risk survivor. We are so proud to share her story because she represents more than half of our patient population. We excited to have her as an advocate for awareness and early detection. We are also very thrilled to announce that she will be apart of our team this summer, and will be a part of several upcoming events. Please keep your eyes and calendars open for that. 

Without further ado, we turn this blog over to Savanna James, so she can tell you her story. 

"Being 24, I genuinely believed that my "adult" life was just getting started. I had moved to Charleston and started working as Vice President of East West Gem Co. I grew up acting and doing pageants, and even though I knew breast cancer was heavy in my family, I didn't think anything could affect me this early. Unfortunately, this reality was shattered at my yearly OBGYN appointment. I was referred to the Breast Place immediately. After meeting with Dr. Beatty, I was advised that it would be in my best interest to have a double mastectomy. The decision to move forward was not easy, especially at my age, but it is one I am very thankful that I was able to make. I have watched several family members suffer and ultimately pass away from breast cancer. I chose to compete for Miss Summerville, sharing my story, because there are so many people who are unaware that they might be living in the shadow of cancer. It is my hope that others will hear my story and seek help, feeling comforted in knowing that they have options. I do not feel like any less of a woman for going through with the procedure. I honestly feel empowered that I was able to make a strong choice, one that could ultimately save my life. As Miss Summerville, and as Savanna, I hope that others hear my story and are influenced to be proactive, get checked yearly and to do self-checks. At 24, I stand with the 1 in 8.
 
Thanks,
Savanna James"

Dr. Beatty and The Breast Place fully supported Savanna’s decision to undergo a prophylactic mastectomy. This decision is huge and personal. It should be thought out by each individual who may be facing it with education and research to understand the risks and benefits of undergoing a major surgery. A mastectomy can be life changing as it alters the appearance of the body you have known from birth and the decision to undergo one with or without reconstruction should not be taken lightly. Dr. Beatty encourages everyone in a similar position to research the pros and cons of surgery and understand that reconstructive surgery can be difficult but beautiful. Here at The Breast Place, we support our patients making decisions that are best for them as an individual as healthcare is not “one size fits all.

Breast cancer doesn't choose who it claims. A pageant queen, a mother, a doctor, a sister, a friend, it doesn't matter. What does matter is exactly what Savanna shares, and that is to be aware and stay on top of your health. Take control and take your yearly checkups and self check-ups seriously. At just 24, she made a powerful decision, that although scary, empowered her and gave her the power of taking a step in her battle against cancer. We hope that Savanna's story does give you hope to seek help and take comfort in the fact that there are always options available to you. We are very grateful that Savanna found comfort and help with us, and we hope that if you're looking for the same, you know that our doors are always open to you. Don't live in the "shadow of cancer", but come out into the sun. 

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us Savanna. We are so excited to see where your journey takes you, and to continue working with you in the future. We would also love to hear YOUR stories and to share your experience to comfort and inspire others. If you would like to share, email us your story and a photo of yourself to survivors@thebreastplace.com and you may be featured on our social media or in an upcoming blog post. 

Remember, don't let Cupid's arrow get you down, and don't let it pop a hole in your sails. Love is something that we celebrate daily, and something we celebrate with you daily. Your journey is a daily struggle. It's hard, messy, scary, and frustrating. Remember that you have a place you are always welcome, and please know you are never alone. 

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Raising Children During Breast Cancer Treatments

1/30/2020

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Feeling alone, lost, and disconnected from the rest of the world are common feelings while dealing with your breast cancer diagnosis, treatment, and recovery. Feeling like this while raising a family will make it even harder. There are so many resources out there available for those going through the treatments and for those affected by it. Take advantage of them all, they're out there for a reason! 

Being a mother with breast cancer is still a surprising topic. Even after the three blogs we've dedicated to the subject, you'll still find people balking at the idea. One of the hardest things is the fact that breast cancer diagnosis usually hit a family when life is already in full swing, and you're already overwhelmed with everything as it is. The treatment will automatically demand your attention when all you want to do as a mother is giving that attention to your children. The battle with giving time and fighting for both survival and your children's livelihood becomes a very tactile one. An exhausting one. A frustrating one. The idea that you have to face the reality of death a lot sooner than you could ever have imagined becomes a daily thought. Even if you do win your battle, recurrence tends to take over the worries in the back of your mind. The battle and worry will never truly be over. Even though you are fighting to beat this disease constantly, your first thought will always be that of your children. 

As you fight your diagnosis every day, there are resources out there specifically designed and created to help your children cope. Similar to the resources we mentioned in our last blog, you might need to do some research about what you need and what your community offers. Help is out there, you just need to look for it and welcome it in with open arms. 

For the Kids
Summer Camp might sound like the last thing you and your family want to do together or decide to send your children off to during your cancer treatment. But think about it this way - giving them another tool to deal with everything, continue to educate them during the whole process, and introducing them to kids their age going through exactly what they are, can be very empowering. That's exactly what these camps were designed to do. There are many free, low cost, and inexpensive options for summer camps that specialize in helping and connecting children who have been impacted by cancer diagnoses. Again, you just have to do a little research to find what is a good fit for your family. Check out these options below. 
  • Angel Foundation's Kid's Kamp, Minnesota
This is a free camp for children ages 5-18 whose parent is fighting cancer. It also offers education and support programs for the whole family throughout the year, not just during the summertime. 
For more information visit their website below: 
http://www.mnangel.org/attend
  • Camp Kesem, Locations throughout the United States
This organization is run by college students for children, ages 6 to 13, who have a parent who has had, or has, cancer. The camps are held on college campuses across the United States. 
For more information, visit their website below: 
https://www.kesem.org/programs-services/kesem-chapters
  • There are many camps out there as well for the whole family to participate in that offer rest, relaxation, support, guidance, and education throughout the United States. To find a list of other options for your family, visit the website below.
https://lungevity.org/news-blogs/blogs/summer-camps-for-kids-impacted-by-cancer-diagnosis

Outside of these amazing opportunities to give to your children and yourself, there are still more resources available. Remember that feeling of being alone and lost? I hope these past two blogs have discouraged that feeling. Remember too that these are just the tip of the iceberg. There are more out there than you might realize. 

Your Choices
We have talked about what you can do for yourself to make this process as a mother just a little easier on you and your family. Sometimes you need a helping hand, and that's okay. You're fighting a hard enough battle as it is, take advantage of what's out there for you. Please note that there are resources out there like: 
  • Free Pampering
  • Transportation Services
  • Social Workers
  • Financial Assistance Programs 
  • Support Groups
  • Mentors

We are here to support and guide you, but it is your choice to make this difficult time hurt a little bit less. Step up to the challenge and be willing to say "yes" to these options and more. If you ask for it, the help will come. For even more resources and information, please follow the links below. We will see you next time. Until then, be brave, keep fighting, and know you are not alone. 

More Information
https://www.cancerfac.org/?&assistance_types%5B%5D=meal-delivery
https://pearlpoint.org/meals-your-door-2/


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Mothers with Breast Cancer

1/2/2020

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Becoming a mother is an exciting and wonderful journey. But what happens when that journey is disrupted with the diagnosis of breast cancer? What then? What are the best ways to handle motherhood and your breast cancer battle at the same time? 

Being a mother is such an exciting, difficult, challenging, and wonderful thing. We thank our mothers for the love and care they've given us, and we strive to be the best mothers we can be for our children. But when a diagnosis of breast cancer steps into your life as a mother, what then? Naturally, the first thought will be of your children. How will I care for them? How will life go on for us as a family through my diagnosis and care? What happens when I can't care for them? What happens if I don't win this battle? In this two-part blog, we will be discussing what to do and how to handle parenthood while going through both your diagnosis and treatment. In the second post, we will be discussing and sharing some of the best resources out there for you to help through this journey. 

At first, there might not feel like there are a ton of resources out there for you. As we discussed in our November blog, it's is still rare to be a young woman with a young family and be diagnosed with cancer. But, it still happens more than most realize. As a mother in this situation, you will be dealing with the same amount of day to day struggles and responsibilities, but it will get even harder when that diagnosis comes. You will now be facing treatment, care, long hospital stays, surgeries, and not feeling like yourself or very good at all while still dealing with your normal load of life. It is almost like your life has been split into two, and you have to live through both of them at the same time. 

It is going to be difficult. That fact won't be a mystery to you. Being apart is hard, but with love and devotion, you've made that an integral part of your life. With this same kind of love and devotion, you can fight this battle as a parent. Please know that you're not alone. You might feel like you are, you might feel disconnected from your family and loved ones but you're not. Once the diagnosis comes, your first duty as you approach the battle is to rally your troops. If not for you, then for your children. Show them that they too will not be alone. The family dynamic might change while you're fighting your diagnosis, but there will be a parade of love and care for them and you if you let it.

 There are many important things to keep in mind when going through your diagnosis as a parent. You will need to find the best fit for you and your family, make informed and family-based decisions on what's best for all of you, and your decisions will not be the same as anyone else's. This is all okay. Here are some tips and ideas to keep in mind as you begin this journey, together. 
  • Tell your children the truth. No matter how young, the idea that mommy is sick needs to be introduced and addressed. Hiding treatment and its effects can cause confusion and unnecessary anger because they don't understand what's happening. Children are smart and will figure out what's going on. If you keep it hidden from them, their imaginations can create a situation even worse than what's happening. Choose to tell them what you think they can understand and handle, and keep them included in the conversation. 
  • Explain that it's not a cold they can catch and that the doctors are here to make you feel better. 
  • Including them in the conversation can also keep you accountable that you can't give up. Make sure to explain who is there to help, that your partner is there to care for them as they always have, and that other family members and friends will be helping too. 
  • Show them what the doctor's offices, hospitals, and treatment spaces are like. Introduce them to your care team. Make it tactile, and somewhere they can see and understand. This way they can visualize where the treatments are when mom is gone and know who she's with when she's there. 
  • On days that you're tired and feeling ill, pump the breaks. Watch movies, read books, and take naps together. If you need alone time, call on your support team to rally the troops. 
  • Plan your treatments according to you and your family. Your treatment plan is just as unique as you and your needs. Schedule your treatment with something to look forward to afterward. This can be picking up your child from school, a family movie or game night, or putting them to bed. Reward yourself for making it through another day of treatment. 
  • You are allowed to say no when other's want to talk about your diagnosis. You can set certain times when the topic is off-limits and when you are free to talk about it. You can say no when other's want to share their cancer stories with you and give their advice. Set limits for what you and your family need, and the best way to keep up morale and happiness within your home during this already challenging time. 
  • You are a strong mama bear. The pressure to keep up with a normal life and its responsibilities will weigh on you. Remember, life will not be normal once you receive your diagnosis. You can't force normal or feel guilty when normal isn't an option. You don't need to force your already tired body to get up and keep up with the normal life that you had before your diagnosis. You have a team of loved ones who are fighting tooth and nail to help, so let them. It's hard to accept help, especially when it comes to the care of your children. Set boundaries, and ask for exactly what you need. Let them in, and let any guilt go. 

You are still a parent when you receive your diagnosis, this is not your fault. Your children want to help you, love you, and support you on this journey. Let them in. Know when to say no, be strong enough to set boundaries and to let people in, and know when it's time to ask for help. You will not hang up your superhero mom cape when it's time to ask for help or when treatment has you beat. If anything, it makes your cape that much stronger. We will see you next time for part two of this blog. Until then be well, keep fighting, and go into 2020 with your head up. 

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